I don’t know guys, i don’t feel like i can ever leave my WordPress classic editor alone, everrrrr. That block edit thing is just not working for meeeee!!!
Soooo i got lots and lots of questions from you guys, but I am going to take the question by order of how they were sent in. If you stilllll don’t know what we are talking about then you my friend are very wrong, click here to catch up you sly.
The first question goes:
What made you start a blog, by the way?
Emmm this is actually something i’ve talked about before so therefore i am going to link it, yeah i’m going to link it. So if you are interested in the answer to this question kindly click this link. Yazzz thanks.
Without further adooooo. Our question to be treated today is actually two in one and it goes:
Are all guys the same? Sexual harassment and rape, who’s to blame when a girl visits a guy and gets raped?
For the sake of originality I have decided to leave this question the way it was asked.
Firstly, are all guys the same?
I definitely do not like generalizations so you can already see my perspective on this question.I would say no, we are all different individuals in our various capacities, abilities, temperaments, actions and responses and so therefore not all guys are the same and trust me i would know.
Second Question:
Sexual harassment and rape, who’s to blame when a girl visits a guy and gets raped?
Firstly, let me start by saying that rape or sexual harassment does not concern; what you are/were wearing or the environment or location the rape took place at. There is just no justification for rape!!! And seduction does not count eitherrrrr!!!
When a rape happens the only significant information we should be interested in is the context of the rape, the parties involved, urgent medical care for the survivor and the persecution of the perpetrator(s) (phewwww the lawyer in me came out).
Why must there be a victim blaming society looking out for what the woman was wearing and why she went visiting a male friend?
The answer to the question above is not even a matter of BLAME, it is a matter of justice served. If i as a girl visits a boy i do not do it with the intention of getting raped, sexually solicited or assulted. (Seeing as i am a girl, and i have friends who have discussed widely on this subject).
I know some people on my page will want to start that irritating discuss of what was she looking for there and alone too, but i am sorry to say if you have this kind of mentality i really pity you.
Ask yourselves these questions: why can’t i as a woman leave my daughter alone in the house with her uncle, my father-in-law, my brother or even father and not panic at the slightest wiff?
Why must my daughter(s) be the one to dress “moderately” in their own house, inside this terribly hot weather all because their father, uncle, or who so ever is around?
Some of you will even go to the extent of saying “don’t tempt so and so”, so by virtue of being a woman i am equal to a temptress? Why can’t the so called “feeble willed gender” look away? Why will you even be “tempted” in the first instance? More importantly, why am you letting such a person into my home!!!
Don’t teach women self defence !
Instead of teaching women to go in two’s and three’s to visit their male friends, lecturers, family members why don’t you find out why the “male’s are so prone to rape, sexual harassment and solicitation in this context” and i am not saying men are not also sexually abused but today, we are talking about the sexual abuse of women.
Some of you may also want to say we tell women to not go alone because we are protecting them, but i am here to tell you today that this is a lie. You honestly cannot think you can “limit” rape by concentrating on the potential victims and not the gender “more prone to the act”.
Do you limit shop lifting by telling customer’s not to shop or examine the product’s?
I am not here to prove or argue statistic but i can boldly tell you that 8 in 10 Nigerian female’s have been survivors of either rape, sexual harassment or solicitation. (We refuse to be victim’s, we are survivors).
Yes, i said what i said. Most of you like to away from this topic but:
Ask your sister’s how many times they have had to cross to the other side of the road because they were afraid to walk in front of a group of boys or men.
How many times they have had to turn down rides from neighbours, friend’s, family friend’s who may or may not have had pure intentions.
How many times did they have had to stand back in a queue, crowd or the club because of the fear of someone groping them or worse sticking unsolicited bodyparts to them.
Or how many times have they sat in a bus or on a bike only to feel or get home and see the ejaculation of semen on their cloth.
For the longest time during my childhood i always had to drag my male bestfriend along with me on errands, if you ever looked at us and thought we were cute this was one of the reasons why. One day around 6PM ish i went to buy eggs alone and on returning back i was accosted by a man who i had to run from, i broke my mother’s eggs and you so do not want to hear the full story.
The day i was ejaculation on, it was on a queue for recival of ID cards in 100 level. He had been leaning into me and uncomfortably i had been shifting away, i thought it was because of the crowd but when i felt my back for the sudden hot sensation and it came back sticky white i was the embarrassed one, i was the one that had to leave the queue out of confusion and shame over what had just happened to me.
Our society has its head so far up that individuals turn to victim blaming at the slightest mention of these phenomenon, you hear heartbreaking comments like:
“she made me do it”, “she wanted it, see what she wore”, “her eye’s were seducing me and her panties were already wet” “it wasn’t me, it was the devil”, “why did you let them rape you?”. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!
I honestly feel we as human’s should do more, you don’t have to picture your mother, sister, aunty, wife, or daughter in the same situation before you stop asking “unrelated questions when you hear stories about rape, sexual harassment and solicitation ” this is 2020 and i am actually not suprised because if we still have Racism, Tribalism and jungle justice to deal with we need to do more on this subject. There are way too much discussions than actions on the subject!!!
If you have ever been a survivor of rape, sexual harassment or solicitation i am so sorry that this happened to you, it is in no way your fault, you are not the shitty person, you did not deserve it and i truly pray one day Justice will get served on your behalf!
Now on the issue of consent!
NO MEANS NO. SILENCE DOES NOT EQUAL CONSENT.
Dictionary meaning of consent:
To express willingness, to give permission, not under duress or persuasion!!!
This means:
If my nipples are visibly hard and standing outside my cloth as a woman this is not consent,
If i wink at you in the club, this is not consent,
If i slide into your DM, damnnn that is not consent,
If i am having a sleepover at your house, or i ask you to be a study partner, this is not consent,
Even if we have been having sex, i happen to be your partner or your wife and i say no, my no is still no!!!
I do not want to be chased, persuaded, solicited or cajoled. MY NO IS NO.
Its not that hard to understand. Phewwwww, seeing as i have extended this blog post past the intended limit, i will be doing an entire new blog update on consent so they can no longer give the excuse of “i don’t know about consent”. Stay tuned guys remember:
You also do not have the right over people’s bodies!Have you been raped and you need someone to talk to, kindly click
Here (this one lists quite a number of organizations you can reach out to).
Here (this organization also has SMS messaging and whatapp too).
for free, professional help. It’s totally anonymous, your safety and privacy is 99% protected.
LIFE OF OREOFE 